Motivation note to self

by mirunaandra

Today was a long day. 12 hours away from home. This helps me realise how nice my home is  I get back at night, and it feels cosy and waiting for me to get there. But in the same time, today I had that “Oh no” moment. I work hard and ten times more than the average person. I am workaholic and perfectionist in the same time. But I also have this tendency to involve myself in some sort of work that doesn’t really need that much of a self-investment. However, I will put 110% from me in there. That’s because I wouldn’t be able to go without knowing that I didn’t exercised the whole effort I could.

Today, something happened. I am so obsessed with work that I totally miss out on the little things that spicy up life. I get blind-folded and all of a sudden I forget how it is to cope with unexpected circumstances that go out of my control. For example, the other day I was biking to university really early in the morning . And when I went out of my building’s door and I took in a deep breath I realised what a beautiful autumn we have this year. It’s not entirely rainy and the days have been quite sunny and warm for this time of the year. But there was something special about that morning, you know? There was no sun anymore, it was chilly and a bit windy. The leaves were falling to the ground and the lovely red-yellowish carpet was starting to form. That’s how I was slightly reminded about the mornings when I was a high school student and I would have to go out of the door at 7 am to get to school. It’s a lot more there for me than just work. I will never be able to do less than expected of me, but at least I am on the right track.

Realising that I might have over-exaggerated it a bit is always a starting point. But I am happy after all. Every little experience helps me move forward and be better, because I keep learning and learning. So my day actually ended with an “Aha” moment, because I am finally aware of what’s been lacking and what I need to change to make things better. I don’t want to do the things because I ought to, but because they inspire me and they offer me vision. I can’t be just because of me, but because of what I do, of how I engage myself with others and how I am living my own creative life.